hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
