I want to have your abortion
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
