i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
