remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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