What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
