I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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