There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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