I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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