hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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