It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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