am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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