I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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