i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
