Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
