So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
