he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
