I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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