**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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