You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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