I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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