Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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