honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
