your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There r osticjed everywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
