pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
be right there i have to get my cape
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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