don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
