Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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