She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
