yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it hurts more in the daytime
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
