Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
