She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
