He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
