If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just gargled with NyQuil
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