In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
This is my gift to your gina
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
