Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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