i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
