I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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