we have officially lost it.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
