I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
