after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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