can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
