We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
