I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
