Me. At least after what I've been through.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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