i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
