i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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