what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
