i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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