i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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