Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
