no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
