there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
